Barriers, Blessings, and Thanks
Two more nights, and then we depart...
I remember a time last spring when Joie looked at me in all seriousness and said, “I think we should adopt.” This seemed a beautiful sentiment, but struck me as a bit wacko. Here I was, struggling with an uncertain startup and a megalomaniac boss, and the timing seemed a bit off to me. Here we were as a family, still trying to adjust to Georgia’s arrival and the sudden, dramatic shift in our relationship with our son, and Joie says, “I think we should adopt.” I felt like saying “Maybe we should move to Tibet and start a brew pub, because that would be less disruptive.”
Joie’s passion for this course didn’t fade or go away. She brought home books, she studied, and for the most part she kept her ideas to herself. She was subtly determined, more grounded than I had ever seen her. She didn’t have to convince or cajole, overcome as she was by the quiet certainty that this was the right thing for all of us. She just patiently waited for me to see it too.
When I finally did see it, when I imagined what it would be like to add to the wonder that is our family that way, I leaned heavily on my caveats: “When such-and-such deal is closed, or when back wages are paid back, we can get started…. When I work out whether we have to relocate or not… if I can get some clarity on work… when the megalomaniac finally pays the expenses he owes me… then we’ll be OK.” But none of this ever happened. The "such-and-such deal" never closed and it may never close. I never worked out a relocation package, clarity never came, and the megalomaniac still owes me thousands. Each milestone fell aside unmet, and yet we were still drawn forward into a new future. And now in two days we’re leaving to bring Kelly home. How did this happen?
I can only say that hundreds of quiet, seemingly insignificant blessings conspired to bridge my fears, give us courage, and connect us to our new daughter. Dozens of normal people gave us heart, advice, and guidance. We can’t begin to thank everyone, but here’s a start:
Thank you Ana, Becky, and Julie, from Children’s Hope International. We can never repay you. Thank you for allowing us unlimited access to your copy machine, your constant reassurance that "yes, it will be ok and you are always welcome here...", thank you for providing Georgia a place to come in, relax and take off her socks and shoes and make herself at home and thank you most for graciously listening to our seemingly endless worries and repetitive questions!!!! You have become part of our family and in that, a part of Kelly Johana's.
Heaps of thanks to all of you who wrote the reference letters that left us saying “Wow…who are these cool people they’re talking about?” Rick and Karen, Reed and Erin, Angie and Steve, Scott and Janet, my sister Michele and Momma Sue. Thank you to the friends who gave us unbridled enthusiasm and faith, like Rod and Janel, Phillip and Angela, Fred and Jeanne, Kent and Gretchen, Heather, and Jim and Cindy. A very personal and heartfelt Muchos Gracias to the friends who gave us all that, plus free translating at a really un-godly hour on a Sunday morning AND did house-sitting too, Ruth and Yasmeen. Thank you everyone at Chrome for your understanding and patience, and thank you Dr. Hoggard for your kind words. Thank you Coffee Dave, for the mochas, the perspective on being an adoptive father, and the advice over the years. Especially, and from the very depths of my heart, thank you Cliff and Jenn. You can't imagine the difference you have made in this journey. Thank you to Susan (and Karen too!) for arranging our travel with very little to go on but getting us all there and back on the same flight! (At least as it stands today.....)
Joie would like to thank all of you at Bible Study for your prayers, thoughts and goodwishes. Thank you for giving me a place to feel at home and to share my fears.
Joie would like to thank Lisa for sharing Daniela's story ~ she is a beautiful girl (even if she won't wear a dress!) Your advice and humor about the process have been helpful and reassuring! I can't wait to get our girls together.......Cookies and Spongebob!!! Thank you also to Kelly for sharing about Lisa and Daniela! I pray your little girl comes home to you soon!
To the two people who are least likely to read this (haven't quite gotten around to getting a computer yet...), we thank Momma Sue and Poppa! Don't think I need to go into detail here....I think they know!
(We’re bound to leave people out here, but we’re two days away from a two-week trip where we’ll have plenty of time to make sure everyone gets their thanks.)
[Michael says:] As you read through these posts you may find that I discovered faith along this journey. Or it discovered me. Either way, I am still uncomfortable talking about it and wince at the thought of praying openly, but I want to say: Thank you, God, for every new day that has brought us closer to the vision you have for us as a family. Thank you for finding a path through my barriers and fears, and for lining our path with people of such grace and generosity. I am as full of doubt and confusion as I ever was, but I don’t doubt your love.
I remember a time last spring when Joie looked at me in all seriousness and said, “I think we should adopt.” This seemed a beautiful sentiment, but struck me as a bit wacko. Here I was, struggling with an uncertain startup and a megalomaniac boss, and the timing seemed a bit off to me. Here we were as a family, still trying to adjust to Georgia’s arrival and the sudden, dramatic shift in our relationship with our son, and Joie says, “I think we should adopt.” I felt like saying “Maybe we should move to Tibet and start a brew pub, because that would be less disruptive.”
Joie’s passion for this course didn’t fade or go away. She brought home books, she studied, and for the most part she kept her ideas to herself. She was subtly determined, more grounded than I had ever seen her. She didn’t have to convince or cajole, overcome as she was by the quiet certainty that this was the right thing for all of us. She just patiently waited for me to see it too.
When I finally did see it, when I imagined what it would be like to add to the wonder that is our family that way, I leaned heavily on my caveats: “When such-and-such deal is closed, or when back wages are paid back, we can get started…. When I work out whether we have to relocate or not… if I can get some clarity on work… when the megalomaniac finally pays the expenses he owes me… then we’ll be OK.” But none of this ever happened. The "such-and-such deal" never closed and it may never close. I never worked out a relocation package, clarity never came, and the megalomaniac still owes me thousands. Each milestone fell aside unmet, and yet we were still drawn forward into a new future. And now in two days we’re leaving to bring Kelly home. How did this happen?
I can only say that hundreds of quiet, seemingly insignificant blessings conspired to bridge my fears, give us courage, and connect us to our new daughter. Dozens of normal people gave us heart, advice, and guidance. We can’t begin to thank everyone, but here’s a start:
Thank you Ana, Becky, and Julie, from Children’s Hope International. We can never repay you. Thank you for allowing us unlimited access to your copy machine, your constant reassurance that "yes, it will be ok and you are always welcome here...", thank you for providing Georgia a place to come in, relax and take off her socks and shoes and make herself at home and thank you most for graciously listening to our seemingly endless worries and repetitive questions!!!! You have become part of our family and in that, a part of Kelly Johana's.
Heaps of thanks to all of you who wrote the reference letters that left us saying “Wow…who are these cool people they’re talking about?” Rick and Karen, Reed and Erin, Angie and Steve, Scott and Janet, my sister Michele and Momma Sue. Thank you to the friends who gave us unbridled enthusiasm and faith, like Rod and Janel, Phillip and Angela, Fred and Jeanne, Kent and Gretchen, Heather, and Jim and Cindy. A very personal and heartfelt Muchos Gracias to the friends who gave us all that, plus free translating at a really un-godly hour on a Sunday morning AND did house-sitting too, Ruth and Yasmeen. Thank you everyone at Chrome for your understanding and patience, and thank you Dr. Hoggard for your kind words. Thank you Coffee Dave, for the mochas, the perspective on being an adoptive father, and the advice over the years. Especially, and from the very depths of my heart, thank you Cliff and Jenn. You can't imagine the difference you have made in this journey. Thank you to Susan (and Karen too!) for arranging our travel with very little to go on but getting us all there and back on the same flight! (At least as it stands today.....)
Joie would like to thank all of you at Bible Study for your prayers, thoughts and goodwishes. Thank you for giving me a place to feel at home and to share my fears.
Joie would like to thank Lisa for sharing Daniela's story ~ she is a beautiful girl (even if she won't wear a dress!) Your advice and humor about the process have been helpful and reassuring! I can't wait to get our girls together.......Cookies and Spongebob!!! Thank you also to Kelly for sharing about Lisa and Daniela! I pray your little girl comes home to you soon!
To the two people who are least likely to read this (haven't quite gotten around to getting a computer yet...), we thank Momma Sue and Poppa! Don't think I need to go into detail here....I think they know!
(We’re bound to leave people out here, but we’re two days away from a two-week trip where we’ll have plenty of time to make sure everyone gets their thanks.)
[Michael says:] As you read through these posts you may find that I discovered faith along this journey. Or it discovered me. Either way, I am still uncomfortable talking about it and wince at the thought of praying openly, but I want to say: Thank you, God, for every new day that has brought us closer to the vision you have for us as a family. Thank you for finding a path through my barriers and fears, and for lining our path with people of such grace and generosity. I am as full of doubt and confusion as I ever was, but I don’t doubt your love.
posted by Michael Thelander at 11:15 PM
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