A Lesson in Trust
Eight or nine months ago (roughly sometime in April) I "suggested" to my husband that I felt we should adopt. Not exactly the same as needing a new pair of shoes......
As terrifying as it was (and still is) I knew in my heart it was something we needed to do. I was as convinced and sure of this as I am that there is no such thing as too much chocolate! = 0 D
It was an unshakable conviction in my heart and I wanted more than anything for Michael to share that conviction. I realized if this was to be, I needed to let it be.......and pray.
Michael had some pretty serious issues with work and I know the mere thought of bringing another child into the house amid the uncertainty was the last thing he wanted but I knew also that he had a longing that, all fear aside, would match if not far exceed my own.
I was so afraid he would let his fears and doubts make the decision for him, in fact, I was sure of this, I was ready to give it up for fear of a disappointment so vast it would leave a gaping hole in my heart. I don't doubt for a minute he failed to understand the depth of my feeling and how much my heart longed for this, he's a smart man, my husband. He was afraid. In spite of this, my husband said two words to me, he said "Trust me".
Now I was the one afraid. He promised me when the time was right (at least to him....) we would fill out and turn in our application.....alas, his time frame was sometime by the end of 2004. To anyone that knows me well, I'm sure you can imagine my time frame was sometime in the vicinity of NOW! I had a hard time reconciling with this but again, he said "Trust me".......
In spite of everything, every fear, every doubt, every insecurity and then some.....he believed in my dream.
In less than 25 hours we will boarding Continental Flight #1206 to fly to meet our daughter.....
As terrifying as it was (and still is) I knew in my heart it was something we needed to do. I was as convinced and sure of this as I am that there is no such thing as too much chocolate! = 0 D
It was an unshakable conviction in my heart and I wanted more than anything for Michael to share that conviction. I realized if this was to be, I needed to let it be.......and pray.
Michael had some pretty serious issues with work and I know the mere thought of bringing another child into the house amid the uncertainty was the last thing he wanted but I knew also that he had a longing that, all fear aside, would match if not far exceed my own.
I was so afraid he would let his fears and doubts make the decision for him, in fact, I was sure of this, I was ready to give it up for fear of a disappointment so vast it would leave a gaping hole in my heart. I don't doubt for a minute he failed to understand the depth of my feeling and how much my heart longed for this, he's a smart man, my husband. He was afraid. In spite of this, my husband said two words to me, he said "Trust me".
Now I was the one afraid. He promised me when the time was right (at least to him....) we would fill out and turn in our application.....alas, his time frame was sometime by the end of 2004. To anyone that knows me well, I'm sure you can imagine my time frame was sometime in the vicinity of NOW! I had a hard time reconciling with this but again, he said "Trust me".......
In spite of everything, every fear, every doubt, every insecurity and then some.....he believed in my dream.
In less than 25 hours we will boarding Continental Flight #1206 to fly to meet our daughter.....
posted by Michael Thelander at 4:59 PM
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